Seinfeld - The Deal

George: This is all too much. So what are you feeling? What's going on? Are you like a couple again now?

Jerry: Not exactly.

George: Not exactly. What does that mean?

Jerry: Well, we've tried to arrange a situation where we'll be able to do this [sex] once in a while and still be friends.

George: Where are you living? Are you here? Are you on this planet? It's impossible. It can't be done. Thousands of years people have been trying to have their cake and eat it too. So all of a sudden the two of you are going to come along and do it. Where do you get the ego? No one can do it. It can't be done.

Jerry: I think we've worked out a system.

George: Oh, you know what you're like? You're like a pathetic gambler. You're one of those losers in Las Vegas who keeps thinking he's gonna come up with a way to win at blackjack.

Jerry: No, this is very advanced. We've designed at set of rules that we can maintain the friendship by advancing all of the relationship pitfalls.

George: Sure, all right. Tell me the rules.

Jerry: Okay. No calls the next day.

George: So you're havin' the sex, next day you don't have to call. That's pretty good. Go ahead.

Jerry: You ready for the second one?

George: I have tell you, I'm pretty impressed with the first one.

Jerry: Spending the night. Optional.

George: No, you see? You got greedy.

Jerry: No, that's the rule. It's optional.

George: I know less about women than anyone in the world. But one thing I do know is they're not happy if you don't spend the night. I could be a hot, sweaty room with no air conditioning and all they have is a little army cot this wide. You're not going anywhere.

Jerry: I think you're wrong.

George: I hope I am.